Friday, March 28, 2008

QUICK UPDATE AND ANOTHER FLY!!!

Hi Dear Friends.
Here is a quick update from home:
Bruce continues to spend most of his time in bed or the recliner. His appetite has increased and at times is "quite hearty"! He has good moments where he is up and about and he seems to have a few more of them throughout the day...and then is down again. It is very hard for him to not be as active and strong as he used to be. His back is hurting him alot and went into spasms this morning, due to laying around so much. Hospice ordered some good muscle relaxants and we will see how those work. Bruce and I walked up to the clubhouse this afternoon: Bruce rode the exercise bike while I did some other cardio machines. It helped stretch his back out and it was so good for me to get out of the house, work up a sweat and do what we used to do all the time....work out together! Bruce is out right now walking with Mikaela and Charlie and enjoying this gorgeous day. He is probably over doing it, but he enjoys the fresh air and sunshine and it feels so good to be up and about!!!
Spencer is back at George Fox, the other kids are back to their school routines and my mom and dad went home Sunday night. It continues to be very challenging for me to juggle everything. Just like Bruce, I have my good moments and not so good moments. Please pray for me as I face each day's unpredictable agenda that I would lean on God and His predictable, unchanging love for me and my family.
THE LORD'S LOVINGKINDNESS INDEED NEVER CEASE, FOR HIS COMPASSIONS NEVER FAIL. THEY ARE NEW EVERY MORNING; GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS. Lam 3:22-23
Love,
MBA

PLEASE ENJOY THE FOLLOWING POST BY MY DEAR FRIEND...I SURE DID!!!


Earlier last week, during spring break, I (this is Lisa Cowden, by the way) got to have a "fly on the wall", slice of life experience with the Alexanders. I was there for a short while to be extra hands and feet and to make a grocery run or do whatever.

As I was in the kitchen working on a grocery list, and Mary Beth was upstairs trying to rally the troops to follow marching orders and get the last of their laundry folded, I got to chat with the kids as they wandered in and out and in again. I stood ready with pen and paper in hand waiting for the long list of necessary items...

Isaac came to the kitchen, and in his great Ike-y way began talking with me... "Hey Mrs. Cowden. How are you? Hey, how's Brett doing? Boy, we gotta get together... How's spring break going? What have you guys been up to? Um, what do we need at the store?... Oh, I don't know, milk maybe. Oreos are good." (The Oreos were only after some prodding though.) Then he high-tailed it back upstairs to get his laundry finished (started?) and to pick up his room.

Mary Beth popped back down, looked at the list and agreed milk was necessary, Oreos maybe not so. Then Mary Beth headed back upstairs to check on the work at hand... Apparently the work at hand was slowed just a bit by the fact that Isaac had bound Pearce's hands together with some sort of adhesive tape, the kind you find in First Aid kits. As we walked in, we found Pearce laying on the bed with his hands bound, and his face beet-red from laughing so hard.... "Mom, I can't do my laundry... See, I am all tied up!"

Isaac, of course, pleaded his case with, "Mom, he told me to do it!!" Happily, Mary Beth sidestepped the age-old response of, "If Pearce told you to jump off of a cliff...", and simply told Ike to release his prisoner, handed him decorative paper cutting scissors and reminded them to get back to work.

The doorbell rings... back downstairs to find the housekeeper at the door... and to once again remind all listening ears that the laundry REALLY does need to be finished and everything up off the floor... and to add to the shopping list.

As Mary Beth was showing the housekeeper what needs to be done upstairs, she discovers the school supply box is dripping white goo. Apparently a glue bottle had exploded in the pen/pencil box, making everything sticky and white. Mary Beth trotted back downstairs with the drippy gooey box... and there we were in the kitchen wiping off pencils and calculators and washing out the sticky liner.

... Spence wandered in, and began wiping pencils and checking pens to see if they were still working. As we scratched ball point pens on paper, Spence talked a bit about his time at George Fox and told me about his dorm plans for next year.

... Mikaela came in after finishing her appointed jobs, and helped add important items to the grocery list, and to run a social plan by Mary Beth... "Could be the beach, but most likely shopping"...

As Mary Beth turns her attention to the shopping list, Bruce comes into the kitchen looking a bit like an overgrown smurf wearing his tall knit cap and looking for his black socks so he can go work out. We agreed that only a man the size of Bruce can get away with working out in black socks. Bruce is holding the "pooping moose" from his office, looking for jelly beans. (You know, the wooden moose that 'poops' jelly beans when you pull on it's head).

As he rummages through the cupboard looking for jelly beans to fill up the empty moose, he too adds to the grocery list. "Chips. Chips and dip. We definitely need chips and ranch dip... and milk."

Eventually, the shopping list is complete... and as I left the house, it dawned on me, that EVEN at this point of life with cancer, life keeps on rumbling. It doesn't stop, or even slow down. Laundry must be folded, glue bottles explode, and milk runs must be made! They keep working, playing, and making life happen. In the midst of the challenges, I saw them smiling, and goofing off, and filling the moose with jelly beans, and being normal (and not so normal... they are the Alexanders after all!).

Let's keep praying for our friends, that God would give them peace, strength and continued joy as they live each day.

UPDATE FROM MB

First off, Melinda, what a great blog entry. My sister read it and was laughing the whole way through it...she could totally see those events being played out!
Now, I would love Lisa Cowden to write a little "fly on the wall" excerpt from her "drop by visit" on Monday....let's just say that my many hats were not fitting so well that day...thankfully, she voluntarily put a few of them on for me and came to my family's rescue!!! YEAH FOR MRS COWDEN!!

My last post was on March 14th, while we were still on vacation. Here is a quick review of the last 2 weeks:

~On our way home on the 15th, we stopped at our friend's house in Wilsonville, OR for a planned reunion with Seattle friends from Bruce's UW days. (after he graduated from OSU, he moved up to Seattle to work with a christian fraternity ministry) He had friends fly in from Texas, Colorado and California-a huge surprise for Bruce-and other local friends were there that we had not seen for 20+ years! It was a great time of sharing stories, laughing, looking at college day photos (and really laughing), eating, praying, reminiscing, catching up with each other and just being together once again. In many ways, it seemed like no time had passed....other than some obvious evidence of new hair-dos, a few extra pounds and some offspring running around!!! This was a very special time with some very special people from a very special time in Bruce's life!! Here is a link to some pictures from that reunion:
http://picasaweb.google.com/geoff6482/BrucePortlandNavReunion


~Bruce spoke the following evening to some college students from our NWHills Church Group. (see the March 17th post). It was very rewarding for Bruce to share with a group of young men and women who are at the same place he was 30 years ago! He knows what a crucial time in life this is to have friends who are like minded, who will live life together, encouraging one another to strive to do what is right and to love God!! Bruce's college friends are still his close friends today...doing the same thing....encouraging each other to love and good deeds!

~Bruce was actually coming down with a chest cold the last few days of our vacation. He happily persevered through the busy weekend and then crashed the rest of the week. He was put on a very strong antibiotic to prevent pneumonia and his cough cleared up in just a few days.

~Even though Bruce has fully recovered from "the crud", he continues to be very weak and tired. His pain is mostly under control (except his back that aches on and off from being in bed and not being active) but he is struggling with constant nausea, his appetite has decreased and he is spending most of his time in bed or in his recliner. Oxygen was delivered earlier this week to help with the nausea and fatigue. He has used it a couple of times and it seems to help a bit. He has had a few good moments where he actually got to go exercise with Spencer at our neighborhood clubhouse, heated up his own leftovers and walked Isaac thru the process of hand washing some dishes....and needed naps right after each activity! Even though Bruce does not like to be physically "down", he continues to be "up" emotionally and is as kind and thoughtful as always, even funny at times....those strong pain meds really work well!! :)

~Spencer is home for spring break and getting lots of good rest and good food and his brothers and sister LOVE having him home....as do his parents! There is nothing better than having the whole family together!!

~Amah and Poppy (MB's parents) came down from Seattle late Tues night. I realized that I was pretty burned out and needed help juggling everything: time with the kids, time with Bruce, maintaining the household, making sure the kids had fun and not "shushing" them all the time, doing what was necessary to care for Bruce...basically just handling life! My Mom and Dad are a breath of fresh air, they fit right in and know our routine, they love on the kids, they are here to do whatever is needed.....and then some!!! What a blessing and encouragement to have them here!

~Our lives right now are full and very unpredictable. I know that we have so many people who love us and want to help out in any way possible. The best way to love and care for us right now would be to respect our need for rest, family time and limited interruptions. With that said, the best way to contact us would be through email or blog comments. Though we have loved the encouraging phone calls and the friendly visits to the house, they take more energy than we have right now. Thank you so much for honoring this request!

I believe that is enough to get everyone caught up with the Alexanders. Again, thank you to everyone for your support, love and prayers. We need them and are strengthened by them!

With Much Love,
MBA

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Fly On The Wall...

Melinda writing again. Recently I was over the Alexander house, taking care of Arbonne business, when it dawned on me what I was witnessing.. It was as if I was a fly on the wall, getting to listen and watch the interaction among the kids and MaryBeth. For all who wonder how the family is, I thought I'd give you a "fly's eye view" of this brief moment that I got to hang in the home.

Bruce was resting in his room, and MaryBeth was giving orders to Isaac & Pearce on getting their rooms ready for new beds that were arriving the next day. There was hustle and bustle going on upstairs, music playing, the boys playing while MBA fast-talked to them. It went something like this.

"Pearce, I need you to move your --- and clean behind it. Pearce, Isaac, Isaac, Pearce, boys! Your dad is resting, you need to be more quiet. Isaac, help Pearce move the -- so he can clean behind it. The beds are coming tomorrow so this must be done now..." All the while, MBA yells to me that she will be right down, which is not a problem because I am in no hurry.

As MaryBeth and I move to the table, the playing continues upstairs. Eventually, she calls for Isaac to come down. He's going in and out of sight while MBA calls out, "Isaac, I need your attention. Isaac, stop doing that. Isaac, Isaac, Isaac, come here." Any moment I wait for MaryBeth to get angry. Instead, as Isaac giddily walks to her, and places his chin just above the laptop so that he is within inches of MBA's face, MBA speaks slowly to him on what she needs from him. He shows his braces (smiles), blinks (as if batting his eye lashes) and says, "Yes, Mom.. I don't know why but it's very hard not to start laughing right now... Yes, Mom." And he goes back upstairs. Inside, I'm about to crack up, but I figure that would only encourage him. Guess what MaryBeth does... She snickers and we get down to business.

Spencer had been quietly reading in the corner of the room (so quietly that I had no idea he was there!) when MBA asked if he could go upstairs and help his brothers. Without hesitation, he responded warmly and was upstairs in a slow flash (if that makes sense). Soon after, Mikaela came down and greeted me, then checked the stove to see what was cooking. She lifted the lid, said, "Hmm, that smells good." When MaryBeth told her dinner would be ready soon, she kindly said, "I'm not really hungry."

The home is filled with love and joy. Yes, there are tears, but laughter is nearby. God's presence is strong there.

Mary Beth is a gem; she is quick to acknowledge God as the Sovereign I AM. She has some tough hats to wear, and counts on Him to provide what she needs to effectively wear each hat.

Below are some photos from my camera. Enjoy.

We call ourselves the Joyful group, after the first Women of Faith Conference we attended together.


My mom and Laura joined me to hear about the products in MBA's orange bag.


Some of the Arbonne samples that feel and smell so nice!


Way back in December, during the Emerald Bowl, I took a few pictures of Isaac, Pearce and Bruce, along with a bunch of friends, on the streets of San Francisco.


Monday, March 17, 2008

Time with College Students


This is Melinda writing. Last night, Bruce and Mary Beth joined Duane and me for our Sunday dinner and bible study with 30 college students. Bruce shared how he began his Christian "race", how he has chosen to run his race, how it has been worth running the race, and his thoughts as he approaches the finish line.

It was a blessing to hear Bruce share with the students; it reminded us of how we were in the same position as them 30 years ago. It reminded us of the special band of brothers and sisters we formed during that time that still exists today. It gives us hope that the same thing can happen with today's students who Bruce spoke to.

Enjoy the photos...

Friday, March 14, 2008

NOT HOME YET!!

We are still in Eastern, WA and heading home on Saturday. We originally planned on being home Thursday night, but it has been so relaxing here, we couldn't drag ourselves away. Unfortunately, Spencer had to be in class Friday morning, so he and Mikaela left Thursday afternoon. Mikaela is hanging out in the dorm with friends and getting a taste of college life and Spencer got right back into his routine! The rest of the family has continued to rest, play games, work out, play in the snow, hang out and just lay low. Poppy got to come and join us Thurs night and most of Friday....so much fun!!


Here are a few pictures from our time here. I will post more info later....when I'm NOT on vacation!

Rested and Refreshed,

MB for the Gang!




OUR SNOW BUDDIES!!!

THE BIG SLEDDER!!!
THE A TEAM KIDDOS!!OUR VIEW FROM THE BACK DECK!!


THE KIDS WENT FOR A HIKE AND HAD QUITE AN ADVENTURE!!GREAT PHOTO, MIKAELA!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

WHAT A MONTH!!!

WOW, February was an interesting month packed with many planned, and not so planned, activities:
A football team surprise party for Coach Bruce, completing 14 full brain and spinal radiation treatments, an unexpected stay in the hospital (a lovely Valentine get away!), a wonderful celebration with family and friends....just to name a few!! I think there is a phrase, "Pictures say a thousand words"....I'll leave it at that.

It is Thursday night and we are up in Newberg. Spencer invited Bruce to share at his dorm floor bible study at 9:30pm (only college students would start something at this time) and I am in the hotel room enjoying the peace and quiet. The kids stayed back in Corvallis and are having a great time with friends doing their thing! Bruce was honored and excited to share his special message with these young men on what it means to be a "Band of Brothers" with a "Will of Iron" and a "Heart of Fire" and being ready to "Take a Stand" ....but I think one young man was more honored and excited than his Dad!


In reading back over the blog, I realized that there was not a follow-up to the Feb 17th post, regarding future treatments. We were at the point in Bruce's treatment plan that the risks were way higher than the benefits and after speaking with his doctors a few weeks ago, it was a unanimous decision to NOT go forward with the last treatment. We are at peace with this, knowing it is the right decision. We continue to take one day at a time and are thankful for each one!

We decided to cancel our California trip, (not wise for Bruce to be too far away from home) and are heading, instead, to Eastern Washington for a week! Our dear friends offered us their vacation home in Cle Elum, WA, which will be just perfect for what we need: a kick back, low key, fun family time just hangin' with each other. I think it will be much easier to 'hibernate' in the snowy weather than in the CA sun! Spencer and Mikaela are taking next week off from school and we are so looking forward to being all together...even Charlie gets to tag along!!!

We are blessed! May you be blessed!
Love,
MB for the A Team!!
THIS IS MY COMMANDMENT, THAT YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER JUST AS I HAVE LOVED YOU!! John 15:12